One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

So I guess I need to learn that I should never get too comfortable in my relationship with my host mom because just when I think things are going well and we’ve made some progress, BAM she throws it back in my face. I’ve gotten over the taking my food and breaking my kitchenware (water pitchers, spatulas, etc.). I figure that’s a small price to pay for living here because I really love my room and enjoy the rest of the family. I’m becoming really close with the rest of the family and I think that kills her. Anyway, the most recent “episode” started a few weeks ago when she told me she needs her dresser back. She loaned it to me when I first came (mostly because it’s too big to get out of the room), but now she needs it back because the one she was using was her brother’s and he took it back (are you noticing a trend here?). I asked her how she was going to get it out of the room and she said she wasn’t sure because it was nearly impossible to get in and they had to take the entire balcony apart just to get it up to the second floor. I suggested I just buy a new one that she can use in her room since I’d have to buy a new one anyway if she were able to get hers out of my room. She agreed that would be the easiest way to handle the situation so we left it at that (because I didn’t have the money at the time to buy a new one).

I actually haven’t seen much of her since then because she’s not home during the week and then I went to Lima for a workshop (see other posting). She was home all last week because Monday and Tuesday were holidays so she didn’t have to go to work at all (don’t ask, I don’t understand why). [Side note: only Tuesday was the actual holiday – Labor Day – but you can’t just have one holiday in Peru so everyone got Monday off too.] So last week we were all eating lunch together and somehow we started talking about my dad’s work and Cummings Studios. Her brother, Wilder, was really interested in it so I showed him these three postcards I have of my dad’s work. I was explaining that they usually didn’t make windows, but restored them and many of them were from the 14th and 15th centuries. So my host mom said, “So they must be really expensive, right?” I told her they were and that some projects lasted a couple of years. So of course she has to say, “So your dad is a millionaire then.” Hahaha – that’s funny. I explained that we’re not even close to being millionaires since owning your own business involves a lot of costs and risks. I told her that in the end, you often end up with less than if you were just an employee of the business. Luckily her brother and sister-in-law, Marta, were sticking up for me and saying it’s just like owning your own business in Peru – it’s really expensive and often times not very profitable. Of course though, she’ll believe what she wants to believe and so in her mind, my parents are millionaires.

So that takes us back to the dresser. On Friday afternoon we went shopping for dressers and of course she wants me to buy her the most expensive one because she thinks my dad is a millionaire. I was getting really annoyed because I can see right through her. She wants me to buy one that is almost 500 soles when she can get one just as nice (and big) for 350. Marta was with us and told me not to let her convince me to get an expensive one when I’m only going to be here for another year. There is no reason for me to buy a really expensive one when she’ll get hers back when I leave. So after going to various stores, my host mom asked me which one I wanted to buy, making it very clear she didn’t like the one that was 350 soles. She said it’s for a man (because it’s natural wood and not stained like the other one – give me a break). I told her I wouldn’t pay more than 350 because I can’t afford to pay any more. She was really disappointed, but decided that she’d talk to her husband about it to see if they could pay the difference to buy the more expensive one.

Yesterday morning Marta pulled me aside in the kitchen and told me she needed to talk to me. She said she talked to Wilder about it and he said that Rosa is trying to take advantage of me and get me to buy her the nicest dresser out there. He said I shouldn’t pay any more than 300 soles and if she doesn’t want to accept that, he’ll help me take apart the entire dresser to get it out of my room and then I can buy a cheaper one to put in my room. I was really relieved to hear that because it’s nice to know that some people in this family like me and aren’t trying to take advantage of me. Oh and by the way, I forgot to mention that Karina told me she walked in on them the other day talking about who is going to get what of my stuff when I leave. Karina told me that she said, “Shame on every single one of you. Kristen still has over a year here and you’re already talking about her leaving so you can get her stuff. None of you even deserve any of it because you’re not even her friend.” I was really touched that she stuck up for me like that, and she’s right – why am I going to leave my stuff for them if they just look at me as someone to profit from? So when my host mom “innocently” asked me on Friday what I’m going to do with my dresser when I leave, I told her that it’s very likely I’ll ask for a replacement volunteer, and if so, I’ll sell all of my furniture to them.

Sorry for the ranting about her, but she DRIVES ME CRAZY – in case you couldn’t tell! In addition to the dresser stuff, we met this teacher who works in the same community as her and he said to me, “Wow you speak Spanish pretty well, huh?” and of course she had to laugh and say, “Not really, but I guess she does speak it a little better than when she came.” Thanks Rosa – you always make me feel great about myself. I will mention that my other family members have told me my Spanish has improved a lot since I arrived so I try not to let what she says bother me. After we got back from shopping, they were talking about who is going to be Emily’s godmother. Marta said she should have me be the godmother and kept talking about how great that would be (most Peruvians jump at this opportunity mind you and many Peace Corps volunteers are asked to be a godparent at least 5 times during the two years). However, Rosa said in her snotty voice, “Why would I make Kristen the godmother when she’s just going to leave soon and I’ll never see her again!” I know that I won’t see them very often, but it’s just the way she says it that hurts. I realized this past week that I spent with her home that she really makes me feel on edge and I like it so much better when she’s gone. I hate saying that because I’m really grateful they opened their house to me, but I just feel so much more comfortable and relaxed when she’s not home. When she’s not home it’s so much better because there isn’t any tension – I get along really well with everyone else, it’s just her that’s the problem. Oh boy.

Believe it or not, even though I just ranted on and on about my host mom, I do have other news to report. The first thing is sad news. Luz, the girl we had working in our house for a couple of weeks, who I LOVED because she was so damn cute, doesn’t work here anymore. Apparently while I was in Lima her dad came and took her away. My host mom said she was crying because she didn’t want to leave, but they think her parents are going to send her to Lima to work for her aunt. If that’s the case, I’m really happy for her because that’s a great opportunity, but I really miss her. She was always so happy and smiling. She brought good energy into our house. I’m sad that I never got to say goodbye to her. I realized that I don’t even have a picture of her and I’ll probably never see her again.

Well I have been quite the little partier in Bambamarca lately. The Friday before I left for Lima, I was invited to a birthday party for one of the doctors, Margarit, at the health center. She is from Lima, but has been in Bambamarca for a year doing her serum (like an internship or residency I think). They told me it started at 5:30 so I showed up at 6 to find Katy (the host) and Margarit shredding chicken in their sweatpants. I stayed for about a half an hour until I found out that everyone else was coming around 8 pm. I thought I’d go crazy if I just sat there so I went home and took a little nap. I went back around 8:30 and was still one of the first ones there, but everyone else showed up in the next hour. We had a little toast with this DISGUSTING strawberry cocktail they made – I thought it tasted like Pepto Bismol even though everyone else kept saying how delicious it was. At birthday parties here, you go around a circle and everyone gives a little toast to the guest of honor so of course I had to do that too. Then we had Ají de Gallina (this delicious Peruvian dish of shredded chicken in a yellow sauce) and started drinking and dancing. We did the typical thing of passing one beer and one cup among everyone so it was no surprise when I got a really bad sore throat and cold starting the next day (what do you expect when you share germs with 15 people?). Everyone here thinks I don’t drink so they all get really excited when I start drinking and dancing with them. Sometimes I get annoyed at Peruvian parties because gross drunk guys want to talk and dance with me, but I ended up having a blast that night because I knew everyone there (except one guy who showed up around 11:30 to play Happy Birthday on his guitar at midnight). I stayed there dancing until 3 am! They cut the cake just as I was leaving so I took some for the road and the doctor walked me home. It was really fun and I was the talk of the health center the next morning because they couldn’t believe that I dance and drink! Haha.

On Saturday night I went to another party. Bambamarca frequently has bands come to give concerts in the canchitas (soccer courts). I’ve been invited to a few, but have never really had the ganas (energy) to go. They usually start around 11 pm – just as I’m getting into bed (haha) and I can hear them loud and clear as I live right next to the canchitas. However, on Saturday night, this group that I really like came so I told Chabu I’d go with her. The group I really like is called Grupo Cinco, but it was only half of the group who came. Apparently when only half of the group comes, it’s called Hermanos Yaipen so when I first saw the signs for it, I didn’t care about going, but Chabu explained to me that it was really Grupo Cinco so I was excited. The signs for the concert said it was supposed to start at 8, but of course it didn’t really start until 10 or 10:30. I went over to the doctor’s house around 8 anyway because sometimes we’ll have a drink or something before it starts to help pass the time. That night we didn’t do anything though except sit around waiting for Consuelo (a nurse at the health center) until 11:15 pm! Chabu and I were falling asleep at the table. I was about ready to go home to bed if she didn’t come, but she finally showed up.

We got to the canchitas around 11:30 and ended up having a blast! The music was great and it was so fun to dance to a live band. Karina showed up too with two friends, Marta and Wilder so we had a great time dancing together. You should have seen how I was dressed – it was hilarious. Most girls wear nice dress boots and their best outfits because these dances are a big deal here in Bambamarca, but not this girl. I had a headband in my hair (to cover up the grease because I hadn’t showered that day), a fleece, and sneakers because the last time I danced all night in my boots, my legs and feet were killing me the next day. Since I have no one to impress here, I figured I’d go for comfort rather than fashion. Haha. I stayed until 3:30 am, but then decided to leave with Karina because by then most of the men were really drunk and annoying. I like dancing when I can dance with the doctor, his nephew (Honsler who is 35), Wilder or someone else I know (it’s really rare for girls to dance with each other – it’s really traditional here in that after every song, you have to wait for a guy to ask you to dance). But when drunk Peruvian guys (or 18 year old boys) want to dance with me and try to hold my hands and touch me a lot I just get annoyed and bored. I make sure not to make eye contact and try to look really bored if they’re annoying me, but they never get the hint. I love how we’ll be dancing and they’re trying to ask me about my work and what I’m doing here. Are you kidding me? You’re drunk, the music is blaring, and I have to shout all of my answers to you, and you’re trying to carry on a conversation? Oh man. The straw that always breaks the camel’s back is when they start telling me they’re sure my boyfriend is cheating on me, that I’m too young to be engaged (I tell them I’m engaged so they’ll leave me alone – it usually only works if they’re sober though) and that they’re not going to let me leave Bambamarca because they’re going to marry me – yeah right, buddy, in your dreams! I listened to it for about two songs, but then I’d had enough and left with Karina. Overall, the night was surprisingly fun. I didn’t think I’d really like the dances in the canchitas, but I had a great time and would definitely go again!

I finally found out that they are going to have a marathon in Lima in September so I don’t need to feel like I’m training for nothing. I was starting to get really discouraged about running and bored with the same path everyday. Running in Lima was really rejuvenating because it was something different and made me feel like I can do this. I’m still not feeling as motivated about it as I was a couple of months ago, but I think it’ll get better now that I know I actually have something to work for. My official 16-week training starts the week of May 28th so before I know it, I’ll be on my way to running my first marathon!

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you another funny story about running in Lima. Don’t worry, this one isn’t about going to the bathroom. As I was running the first morning, this vigilante (neighborhood security guy) rode past me on his moped. Next thing I know, he had turned around and was riding right beside me. Even though I have my headphones on, and clearly don’t want to be bothered, he starts talking to me. “You’re not from here, right?” I’m thinking, “What gave it away,” but instead I just say no and keep looking ahead. He proceeds to ask me what I’m doing here, where I live, where I’m staying, why I’m here, etc. etc. I thought if I asked a few questions, he’d leave me alone, but I guess that’s just crazy talk because he kept on going. After about two minutes of his questions, I finally say, “Excuse me, I’m trying to run here.” He tells me it’s okay, I can keep running and he’ll just ride beside me and talk. Then I have to tell him I don’t want to talk to him, and he says, “Why you can’t run and talk at the same time? The Peruvian girls like to talk to us while they run.” So I tell him that I’m not Peruvian and I don’t want to talk to him. He tried for another 30 seconds, but when I kept ignoring him, he realized I was serious. A while into the run I turn around and run past the place we were staying, and who do I see, but this same guy again on his moped. I made sure not to make eye contact with him and kept running. Right after I see him is when I had my little bathroom emergency. I considered running back to him and asking him for a bathroom, but I didn’t really want to talk to him, nor did I have that much time. So as I was running back to the retreat center, after the cornfield incident, he rides up to me and tries to start talking to me again! Are you serious, buddy? Oh man I was annoyed. So this time I just look at him and say, “Didn’t I tell you I don’t want to talk to you?” and he got the hint right away.

The next morning I also went for a run and saw the vigilante again. When he didn’t ride up next to me, I thought he had finally figured it out, but about two minutes later there’s someone next to me again on his bike – this time it’s his friend! Are you kidding me? These guys kill me. Don’t you get it? Just leave me alone!